We all know what drugs do to human perception.

We've been there before and we won't go there again. But "Pothead" seems to be inviting a customized critique of his work, so let's go ahead with it.

Pothead, we all know that drugs inspire creativity.  Do you know why?  Because they allow you to "escape" from the confining routines of your humdrum existence.

But, check this out, Pothead: do you know why we live in a "confining routine"?  Because we choose to, that's why. Now, when you're younger than a certain age, say, 14... you could blame your parents for "confining" your existence.

But, beyond that magical age (18 in some states), you really can't blame your parents, the high-school teacher, your lost girlfriend or your dead dog for anything that goes wrong in your life.  If you're really being accountable, you can only blame yourself. But then, if you accept that responsibility, you can't sit around the mouldy rumpus-room with other potheads blaming the world for your troubles.

We all know that 4-letter words come in handy.  Especially if you dropped out of kindergarten. But lissen up: there's better things to say to a box-car on Friday night.  Doesn't matter how many beer you've had, or how mad you are at Dad.  You crayons will taste better to the world after you get a little more "experience" under your belt.

This one on the left is so bad it's almost good.  But "almost" is a long way for Mister "Skull Fuct".  Dear Mister "Skull Fuct":

1. Buy some Duct Tape
2. Buy a musical instrument
3. Tape yourself to the instrument
4. Learn to play it
5. Put on concerts for Deaf Kids in Special Schools
6. When you graduate from "Taped Music", try once again.
7. God gives everybody a second chance.

People who listen to Art Bell on Coast-to-Coast AM occasionally do crazy stuff like putting tape recorders in graveyards and playing them backwards.

See that thing on the right?  That's what they get when they play those tapes backward. A 3-dimensional headache.  Some hands should never touch spray-cans.  Some hands are meant to simple things like push buttons on tape recorders.  Get your career straightened out by seeing a counsellor or a psychic.

Do it soon.

We all know he made music and then died. So what?  So did Ella Fitzgerald.  So did Hendrix.  So did Frankie Boy.  What makes this guy deserve Arial Fonts on a Cowtown GrainCar?  Maybe a little more decorative, perhaps?  Times New Roman? A little squiggly tail or two?

Oh God, here we go.  Puh-Leeze! "Live Evil".  Hmm. This is where we Duct Tape this guy to a Kurt Cobain Album playing endlessly "The Sound Of Confusion".  Then it's 100 lines on the blackboard, "I see my light come shinin', from the west down to the east...".

Then it's dinner for 2 at MacDonalds and beer in the rumpus room with a Black Velvet Jesus picture and two Raindeer antlers to go.

Nine Hope invites us to "Hope Along With Jesus" (or was that "hop along"?)

We'll fill you in on 9hope's predicament shortly, after we retire for bev's and barbie.

Long may you Hop.
Long may you Sing.